CharlieCroker said:

I put myself forward for this gay adoption lark. I wanted a couple of lesbians. Ideally, they would be between the ages of 18 and 25- that way their mothering instincts would still be strong, so they would get the maximum pleasure out of the job, plus they would probably see me out, before they became fat and saggy. Everyone, as they say, would be a winner.

Not a bit of it- I had not bargained for the petty bureaucracy that seems to dominate the public service sector. After having spent a good hour filling in the forms, I got a short letter back, saying that I was outside the range of suitable ages. The irony of it- bare-faced ageism in an organisation dedicated to equal rights for nubile lesbians! I telephoned the office immediately, and suggested that they may have missed the decimal point. The forms are probably read by a computer- a cheap computer, supplied by some fly-by-night Public Limited Company on the Private Finance Initiative. As it turned out, 4.7 was bang on the mean, so I was granted an interview.

I could not believe the intransigence of the interviewer. I think I put my case forward very well- I can go to the lavatory by myself, I do not break my toys and I can feed myself without making too much mess. In addition, I have a moderately successful business, so I do not need pocket money to go to the pictures etc. I have never been cautioned for arson or pistol-whipping a teacher. Playing up the financial side of the deal, I also mentioned that I have my own house, so we could go there whenever we liked, saving on the cost of holidays. Lesbians do not have successful careers, so I reckoned the low running-cost aspect would be a clincher. No chance- she still kept on harping on about the age aspect. I might as well have been talking to the wall.

Having found out that egalitarianism is not even in their vocabulary, the hypocrites, and failed with the pragmatic approach, I still had one ace card- sentiment. I opened my briefcase and presented a dossier of Christmas and birthday cards from my real Mum and Dad, most of them professing sufficient parental love to convince any reasonable person that I was an eminently adequate adoptee. I slipped a few less-complimentary ones in, to make it seem more credible. I could tell that she was not even reading them. By this stage, I had lost my rag. I said, “Listen, you f…ing c… of a square-headed_dyke, I have been paying f…ing Corporation Tax at 20% for the past fifteen years, to fund this f…ing tin-pot quango and [pointing directly at her face] your stupid f…ing non-job with it. Just sign the f…ing form and give me what I want, you f…ing dull f…”

Bizarrely, this seemed to tip the balance in my favour, as she said she would have to consult a colleague. After an interminable delay, in what was, by then, a somewhat strained atmosphere, two more public servants turned up, in uniform. As they led me away to their van, we passed a waiting room, which was full of pairs of young, short-haired, badly-dressed women with empty prams, clutching dolls. They were all looking at me, with what I can only describe as interest. The system is f…ed.

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koolhandluke8 said:

Missing the point even if they were first in line they would never have gotten a child ...3 years !!!

They packed in...in the end after being told that because they had 2 sons ....it may not be the right environment to bring up a little girl

Ok to be brought up with gays ..but not in the same home as 2 boys ??? FFS

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