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Posts: 3,247March 20 Not sure the united fans will be overly happy if that c*nt shows up and gets double what fergie was getting.....think the special one might need to take a fairly special pay cut.....
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Posts: 24,743March 20 wish i was on 10 million and unemployed does that mean you avoid tax? as technically, you are unemployed, if your unemployed you dont have an employer to take tax out of your wages
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Posts: 1,051March 21sambo applecart said:
wish i was on 10 million and unemployed does that mean you avoid tax? as technically, you are unemployed, if your unemployed you dont have an employer to take tax out of your wages
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If KKK's name is on the invoice/payslip/whatever, then the Revenue will bill him for the tax. If he has a limited company, they will charge it corporation tax on its profit. He probably has an accountant. Against the £10m sales, he will claim costs for scarecrow outfits, rant coaching and travel from the training ground to Anfield at 40p/mile, once a week. Other than that, all he had to do was stumble around the place with that pained, earnest expression on his face. He's not as daft as he looks, is he?
Imagine if those Yanks had bought Everton instead- they would be quids in, by comparison. I bet they look across Stanley Park and wonder where their hard-earned dollars have gone. The same goes for that other American who farted his fortune into Aston Villa. He must kick himself every time someone parks a bigger yacht next to his. The moral of this tale: BK has been looking for a buyer, so he says, since the year dot and two firms of generous mugs have passed him by. -
Posts: 20,144March 21CharlieCroker said:
If KKK's name is on the invoice/payslip/whatever, then the Revenue will bill him for the tax. If he has a limited company, they will charge it corporation tax on its profit. He probably has an accountant. Against the £10m sales, he will claim costs for scarecrow outfits, rant coaching and travel from the training ground to Anfield at 40p/mile, once a week. Other than that, all he had to do was stumble around the place with that pained, earnest expression on his face. He's not as daft as he looks, is he?
Imagine if those Yanks had bought Everton instead- they would be quids in, by comparison. I bet they look across Stanley Park and wonder where their hard-earned dollars have gone. The same goes for that other American who farted his fortune into Aston Villa. He must kick himself every time someone parks a bigger yacht next to his. The moral of this tale: BK has been looking for a buyer, so he says, since the year dot and two firms of generous mugs have passed him by.-----------------
I think he'd be stretching IR35 a little there... not as far as the civil service do mind you... -
Posts: 1,051March 21 He would have to do a bit of "consultancy" work or something for some other firms. Put a few invoices through the books. Maybe swap a few invoices with his mates. Without checking, I think corporation tax is 40% on profit over £120kpa or something, so he would not lose out by paying the top rate of income tax. I've done bugger all for the past two years or so. I'll have to set all these scams up again, when I eventually get off my backside.
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Posts: 20,144March 21 I often think you would be better of not tellin em you exist... they'd never cop on... they only hammer people who make the mistake of introducing themselves and saying they'll play by the rules...
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Posts: 1,051March 21 That means dealing in cash, which means working cheap and dealing with_pikeys. If you sell to legit businesses, they want proper invoices, so they can claim the VAT back and put it against tax. I suppose you could just write nonsense on the invoices, but you would only keep a customer for three months max. As soon as they find out that your VAT number is the length of your erect_cock, in millimetres, multiplied by the number of pints you can down in one, you would be out of a very good job, potentially.
I'm gonna try that, now I've thought of it. I'll use something not too fizzy, like Guinness. No point spewing up all over the place, for the sake of a daft numbers game. I suppose, for the sake of scientific rigour, I ought to get an average hard-on. I'll look at some pictures of Joanna Lumley, in a moderately nice dress. Oh sod it; I can't be bothered to go out into the workshop to find a vernier.
God. I'm posting accountancy jokes on a football website. I'm not even an accountant. What has happened to my life?
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