background:white">Now Fifty Sheds Of Grey, the Barnsley version, offers a treat for the men. The book
recounts love encounters at the bottom of the garden. Here are some extracts..

background:white"> Fifty Sheds Of Grey

background:white">We tried various positions - round the back, on the side, up
against a wall...

but in
the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was the only place
for a good shed.







She stood before me, trembling in my shed.

"I'm yours for the night," she gasped, "You can do whatever you
want with me."

So I
took her to B&Q

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She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first,
then harder until finally it came.

I moaned
with pleasure. Now for the other boot.







Ever since she read THAT book, I've had to buy all kinds of ropes,
chains and shackles.

She
still manages to get into the shed, though.







"Put on this rubber suit and mask," I instructed,
calmly. "Mmmm, kinky!" she purred.

"Yes,"
I said, "You can't be too careful with all that asbestos in the shed
roof."







"I'm a very naughty girl," she said, biting her lip.
"I need to be punished."

So I
invited my mum to stay for the weekend.







"Harder!" she cried, gripping the workbench tightly.
"Harder!"

"Okay,"
I said. "What's the capital of Nicaragua?"







I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.

Despite
my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.







"Are you sure you can take the pain?" she demanded,
brandishing stilettos.

"I
think so," I gulped. "Here we go, then," she said, and showed me
the receipt.







"Hurt me!" she begged, raising her skirt as she bent
over my workbench.

"Very
well," I replied. "You've got fat ankles and no dress sense."







"Are you sure you want this?" I asked. "When I'm
done, you won't be able to sit down for weeks."

She nodded.

"Okay,"
I said, putting the three-piece suite on eBay.







"Punish me!" she cried. "Make me suffer like only a
real man can!"

"Very
well," I replied, leaving the toilet seat up.







"Pleasure and pain can be experienced simultaneously,"
she said, gently

massaging
my back as we listened to her Coldplay CD

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